Right, let’s talk about museums! You know, those glorious spaces where the past hangs like a vintage wallpaper, and where every exhibit seems to whisper ‘please don’t touch’. If you’re planning a weekend jaunt to squeeze the best museums in the UK into your itinerary, you’ve come to the right place. Grab your comfy shoes and a pack of biscuits (or two), and let’s wander through some brilliant exhibits and art collections that’ll leave you both smirking and questioning your life choices.
Kicking off this weekend in London? The British Museum is your mecca of history. It’s free (yes, you read that right), and where else can you ogle at the Rosetta Stone or the Egyptian mummies without selling a kidney?
Tip: Don’t miss the Assyrian reliefs. They’re kind of like the original Instagram stories – showcasing the king’s victories in all their gory glory. Just try not to make deadpan jokes about ancient curses while you’re there. Trust me, not everyone appreciates your humour at 10 a.m.
After your culture fix, get yourself over to the Southbank Centre. Here’s where the real magic happens – there’s a street food market on weekends. Smell those scrumptious wafts? You can’t say no to the halloumi fries. Go on, treat yourself! Just remember to check your teeth afterwards. You don’t want to be that person smiling a cheezy grin in a selfie, right?
Once you’ve filled your belly, stroll along the river to the Tate Modern. This former power station houses modern art that might make you feel either profoundly moved or terribly confused – sometimes both at once. I experienced a piece that looked like a pile of bricks and was told it represented the fragility of the human condition. I nearly suggested my flat was a better exhibit, but, wisdom prevailed.
Don’t forget to check out the viewing platform. Yes, the view over the Thames is a total stunner. You can even wave at Big Ben while pondering what art really means.
Wrap up your first day at the National Gallery. It’s near Trafalgar Square, and you can catch some fresh air while you admire paintings from Van Gogh to Renoir. Queue up for the girls in the frame by Monet – that particular painting has roughly two dozen people jockeying for position to capture the perfect pic. Bonus points if you manage not to photobomb any unsuspecting tourists.
After a long day of art appreciation, you’ll need a classic pub dinner. Try to find a place that serves proper fish and chips – not that soggy stuff that’s better served as bait!
So, day two! Time to hop on a train to Bath (a little over an hour from London). The Roman Baths are not only stunning, but they’ll also make you feel like you stepped straight into a toga party.
Stand by the ancient hot springs. Can you believe people bathed in this mineral-rich water thousands of years ago? Just, for the love of all things sacred, don’t try the water. It’s not really up for a swimming competition, and I doubt it’s a good day for a dip.
After your Roman expedition, head to Sally Lunn’s for a bun – it’s a Bath institution. You can even learn the local tale about the buns being invented by Sally Lunn herself (a real character!). Just don’t ask me what’s in them – the mystery adds to the allure. But trust me, paired with jam and clotted cream, it’ll be a game changer.
Now that you are thoroughly stuffed, spend your afternoon exploring Bath’s numerous museums such as the Fashion Museum where you’ll see fabulous costumes through the ages – from plump Victorian dresses to, I don’t know, when the skinny jeans happened.
And for a more quirky experience, pop into the Bath Abbey and its stunning architecture. Just try to resist asking if the chandeliers do the Conga on Friday nights. Don’t ask me how I know it’s a bad idea.
To round off your trip, join one of Bath’s ghost walks – they’re cheeky and you might hear some ghastly tales that’ll make you jump. A delightful way to scare the bejesus out of your friends while learning some interesting history. Plus, nothing says ‘I conquered this weekend’ like being spooked.
And there you have it – the ultimate weekend museum itinerary in the UK! Whether you’re marveling at ancient artefacts or questioning modern art, this adventure is a mix of history, culture, and a pinch of mischief. Plus, remember: if the tea is dreadful, there’s always a cheeky gin somewhere around the corner.
So what about you? What’s the wackiest museum exhibit you’ve ever seen? Let’s swap tales in the comments below!
