‘Yeah, I really want to go to Viagra Falls.’
‘When I get anxious, my breath smells.’
‘I didn’t want to give him my turkey slices, but I saw him looking so I conceded.’
‘The Yellow Pages is so retro.’
‘I am Scottish, but I’ve only been to Scotland once.’
‘The vegans are fine – it’s the gluten-free mob I can’t be doing with.’
‘I don’t want to take my worms to YouTube.’
‘So I had to “hello and kind regards” him as if I’d never choked on his dick before.’
‘I never eat muffins, except on planes.’
‘He’s hurt his Achilles heel.’
‘I heard a baby squeal, and it was like a dog whistle to my ovaries.’
Every week you share the weird things you’ve overheard in London. Above, a few perplexing snippets from the past seven days – don’t forget to tweet us your own!
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