‘Our mouths filled simultaneously. Honestly, it was a special experience.’     

‘When I say “tools”, I mean implements. And when I say “implements”, I mean cock rings.’

‘I don’t even sweat under my armpits.’

‘At first I thought it was a sausage dog, and then I realised it was a ferret.’

    ‘I’ve been seeing that chin everywhere.’

‘I actually know a surprising amount about the mating rituals of shellfish.’

‘Farts are mainstream now – next it’ll be poops.’

‘Don’t worry – I will never put a Bic pen up your bum.’

‘Judi Dench has been old my whole life.’

‘All the Dutch I know comes from the back of a cat food packet.’

Every week you share the weird things you’ve overheard in London. Above, a few perplexing snippets from the past seven days – don’t forget to tweet us your own!

Overheard last week

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