‘Our mouths filled simultaneously. Honestly, it was a special experience.’
‘When I say “tools”, I mean implements. And when I say “implements”, I mean cock rings.’
‘I don’t even sweat under my armpits.’
‘At first I thought it was a sausage dog, and then I realised it was a ferret.’
‘I’ve been seeing that chin everywhere.’
‘I actually know a surprising amount about the mating rituals of shellfish.’
‘Farts are mainstream now – next it’ll be poops.’
‘Don’t worry – I will never put a Bic pen up your bum.’
‘Judi Dench has been old my whole life.’
‘All the Dutch I know comes from the back of a cat food packet.’
Every week you share the weird things you’ve overheard in London. Above, a few perplexing snippets from the past seven days – don’t forget to tweet us your own!
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