‘I am not putting hyaluronic acid on my cat.’

‘You know, university has changed me. I was awake at 3am eating Coco Pops and custard.’

‘Bitch, I Marie Kondo’d my life two years ago!’

‘I’m going to do something rewarding… like have a wank.’

‘Mummy, there’s a girl in my class called Potato.’

‘I think I must be at least three Pantone shades darker.’

‘You can only be Gandalf so many times in life.’

‘You know what ginger face is. It’s the face that ginger people have.’

‘I’ll probably end up having a kid anyway, just as something to experiment on.’

‘I’m trying to solve a solution here!’

Every week you share the weird things you’ve overheard in London. Above, a few perplexing snippets from the past seven days – don’t forget to tweet us your own!

Like Word on the Street? We’ve made a book of these little beauties! ‘Word on the Street: Ridiculous Things We’ve Overheard in London’ is out now, £6.99. To buy a copy, visit timeout.com/wotsbook. 

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